shout out to the internet for making me seem funnier and better looking than i actually am in real life
If I was a celebrity I would go knocking on doors and be like hello yes it’s me
I would ride the bus to confuse people.
I would stalk a fan, find out where they work, and bring them a coffee.
I would create my own live journal and write fan fiction about myself and then instead of using manips actually just pose for freaky pictures and post them at the beginning of each chapter so that people would freak out.

a page in my sisters diary
How wet is ham supposed to be?
this is the strangest question I have ever seen in my entire life

Oh my goodness did you bring a casserole that was so generous of you
Come in come in we’re so glad you’re here
Just put your things at the door and make yourself at home
Oh my god Suzie is that a new hair cut, it looks fabulous
(Source: m0rningmrmagpie)